Am I talking too much…again?

Written By Liz Moyer

The other night, I was telling my husband, Aaron, a story. Halfway through, he smiled and said: "Babe... I feel like I'm on a treasure hunt. I know there's gold in here somewhere."

Ouch. He wasn't wrong.

I've always been passionate about communication. I love words. I speak for a living. But lately, I've been confronted with an uncomfortable truth about how I communicate.

The wake-up call:

There's this colleague I deeply respect. Before she brings anything to the table, she's processed it fully. It's not about ability—she could absolutely brief on the spot—but she chooses preparation over improvisation every time.

And honestly? It's been humbling.

Her intentionality made me realize that I've been relying on my quick thinking and passion when I should've invested just 15 more minutes in preparation.

The experiment I tried:

I started cutting one meeting or task from my day—dedicating that time to deeper preparation instead.

The results? Game changing.

Here's why this matters for all of us:

While we speak at roughly 150 words per minute, our brains can process up to 750. That's a dangerous gap—what communication experts call the elusive 600—where your audience's mind wanders off before you even finish your thought.

The harsh reality? We all want to be truly heard, not just tolerated.

My new communication filter:

I adopted this from The Brief Lab (they train Navy SEALs and executives to communicate under pressure). Before speaking or sending an email, I quickly ask:

  • Why am I saying this? (Background)

  • Why should they care? (Relevance)

  • What's the ONE thing they need to know? (Core message)

  • What's the takeaway? (So what?)

  • What happens next? (Action step)

It takes 30 seconds but saves hours of misunderstanding and follow-up.

Want to see this in action?

I created a video breakdown of what I've learned from The Brief Lab—and how it's improving my leadership, coaching, and everyday conversations. In full transparency, this is still a work in progress. Aaron will most likely have to continue practicing his federal agent listening skills, but hey, 1% better.

Now I'm curious: Who in your life communicates in a way that challenges you to be better? Where do you most need your words to land this week?

Hit reply—I read every response.

Growing with you,

Dr. Liz

https://youtu.be/1a1PBp0jE0A?si=kUnPujUqxZp7GP2o

Liz Moyer
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